Healing the Hurt | sexual violence.

Last week I texted my best friend about an idea I had for a blog post. I wanted to interview survivors who were open and willing to tell their story about sexual violence.

The reason I share a lot of my ideas with Alexia is because I know she’ll be honest with me when she doesn’t like something. Sometimes she tells me “no” when I wanted to hear “yes”, “yes” when I wanted to hear “no”, and “lol” when I ask a question and “lol” wasn’t an answer. Long story short, she didn’t like my idea. She said that my idea sounded inauthentic and it was a little hypocritical that I’d expect other people to share their stories but push mine aside. OUCH. But she was right, in a way I WAS hiding behind other people’s stories because that feels a lot safer.

Vulnerability is a quality I admire in others. I love hearing people talk openly about their struggles, turning their mess into a message. Vulnerability is not something that comes easy or natural to most, and it certainly doesn’t come naturally to me. I have made a conscious effort over the past 3 years  to open up about the things in my life that I am not proud of, the things that have hurt me, and the things that are still hurting me, in hopes that someone else can hear it and feel less alone.

If you came here looking for a crazy story, I’m sorry to disappoint you. I think every person deserves the right to share as much or as little of their unwanted sexual encounter(s) as they want. However, what I do want to share with you all is a short list of resources, self-care tips, and coping methods that helped me and that can potentially help you or a friend dealing with sexual violence of any sort.

• You have a choice in who you want to report a crime to. Seek counseling either way. Here are a list of few different Universities and the victim services/advocacy centers they have in place. MOST Universities have these as FREE resources for students. I’m only listing big universities in areas that I know I have friends in, however, other advocacy centers can easily be found by Google-ing the school’s name and typing “Victim Advocacy Center” after.
  • Auburn University – https://wp.auburn.edu/healthandwellness/safe-harbor/
  • University of Florida – http://www.umatter.ufl.edu/sexual_violence
  • Florida State University – https://knowmore.fsu.edu
  • University of Central Florida – https://letsbeclear.ucf.edu
  • University of Alabama – https://www.ua.edu/campuslife/safety/sams
  • University of Georgia – https://safeandsecure.uga.edu/sexual-assault/
• If you’re falling behind in school due to sexual violence, this tip ^ can help you BIG TIME. Accommodations in your classes can make a really messy time feel a lot less messy.
• Tell your close friends and family sooner than later. This is hard. You don’t need to tell all your friends and family but I think it’s best to tell the one’s who you interact with daily. This helped me in that I didn’t ALWAYS feel like I had to explain why I wasn’t acting like myself.
• Don’t immediately try to get back into the swing of things. I won’t speak for everyone but if you act like nothing happened, no matter how minor your encounter may have seemed, you’ll probably crash and burn. Take time off work, from school, from friends.
• Tackle your feelings of shame and guilt. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault if you froze, if you trusted someone you shouldn’t have, if you were drunk, if you kissed them first. None of this makes it your fault. Period.
• Be careful with media and social media usage. Especially news reports, politics, etc. Protect your heart.
• Do something every day that makes you happy. Cheesy advice but it works. Another good thing about being open and honest with your close friends is they can help you with this.
  • Go get popsicles and walk downtown
  • Go pick sunflowers
  • Go to the pumpkin patch
  • Pet baby animals
  • Go to a baseball game
  • Get a tattoo
  • Go eat at your favorite restaurant
  • Pick more sunflowers
  • Eat cotton candy
  • Go to coffee shops
  • Go to a football game
  • Go visit your family
  • Spend a day in your favorite nearby city (Atlanta ♥)
  • Go to church
• Go to church? ^ Maybe not for everyone, but it was a must for me. I spent many days being angry with God. The first day I returned back to church our pastor ended his sermon with this scripture, “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed within us.” – Romans 8:18. I didn’t think this was a coincidence.

 

National Resources for Sexual Assault Survivors and their Loved Ones:

https://www.rainn.org/national-resources-sexual-assault-survivors-and-their-loved-ones

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 800.656.HOPE

 

What to do in Alaska!

Are you planning on going to Alaska? Dreaming of going on a cruise? Wanting to live vicariously through my life? (I hope you like children’s snot and vomit.) Then this blog post is for you!

My family and I went on an Alaskan Royal Caribbean Cruise in July and it was a blast! I decided I should go ahead and write about my favorite things I did while they are still fresh and crispy in my 23-year-old brain. If not for your enjoyment, than for my own later in life. 🙂

Hike.

My brother and I did a short hike through the Tongass National Forest while ported in Ketchikan. I’m pretty sure my brother did a hike every time we got off the ship (like a psychopath) and said it was his favorite part of the trip. One was good enough for me but if you’re a big time hiker/outdoorsmen/someone who probably runs marathons on Thanksgiving, this one’s for you!

Explore the town of Ketchikan.

This was definitely my favorite town in Alaska, maybe the world but idk. Ketchikan was our first stop in Alaska and you can imagine my surprise when I woke up in the morning after a solid 36 hours of cold and dark hibernation and saw this:

Ketchikan was absolutely cute and funky. After our hike my brother and I went back to the ship to eat sad and strange quantities of food and then came back out to explore the town. We fell in love with the groovy-ness and decided some day when we were old and decrypted (maybe like 42 or 43) we would move back and live in a box by the bay.

Go whale watching.

I didn’t think this was going to be my favorite part of the trip. I mean, I grew up by Sea World so like, what’s the difference? However, it was definitely one of my favorites if not my favorite part of the trip. We got on a small boat (kind of like the one from Jaws except colder and equipped with hot cocoa) on the port of Icy Strait Point and headed out.

* Disclaimer: you might get sea-sick and you WILL be cold. It’s apart of the experience.

** disclaimer: My whale photos are a disgrace to the whales so really just enjoy this picture of me looking like a cold potato

Eat Salmon.

If you don’t like Salmon exit my blog right now. (You don’t really have to exit my blog but you should maybe seek therapy.)

My favorite Salmon was at the Gold Creek Salmon Bake in Juneau. Maple and Brown Sugar glaze YAS HUNTY.

Ride a train – White Pass Scenic Railway

Pictures don’t do it justice but I’ll leave ya a few.

Drink coffee, obviously.

Coffee is my favorite part about life after Jesus Christ the son of God (my family comes after coffee.) I enjoyed the funky shops and drinking coffee every day on the ship like it was water.

See the Hubbard Glacier.

400 years in the making and 76 miles long. Nature’s finest.

A delicious soup for delicious people ;)

Hey guys, Christina here. Today I decided to make my all time favorite 15 minute soup recipe for dinner and here I am to share it all with you. This is so easy a cave man could do it.

Do you want to make soup that looks like this?

While looking like this?

Then look no further, delicious people, this soup recipe is for you.

Turkey Kielbasa and Tortellini Soup

Here’s what you’ll need:

• 2 bags of refrigerated spinach tortellini noodles from Trader Joes (Any refrigerated or frozen tortellini noodles will work fine! You want approximately 20oz though)
• 64 oz of low sodium chicken broth
• 28ish oz of diced tomato
• 28ish oz of marinara sauce (or tomato sauce if you want to add your own seasonings!)
• 1/2 a diced onion
• 5ish oz of spinach
• One 13oz turkey Kielbasa
• A few tablespoons of grated parmesan cheese

This ^ will make approximately 6 servings so adjust recipe accordingly.

• (Optional bottle of moscato if you want to feel boujie while you make your soup)

 

First you’ll want to pour all of your chicken broth, diced tomato, and marinara into a large pot. Turn stove to medium/high.

Next you will need to start dicing your onions and cutting your Turkey Kielbasa into thin slices.

After your broth has come to a light boil, pour in both the diced onions and Tortellini.

(Sorry for the lack of diced onion pictures here…)

Turn stove heat to low/medium, cover with lid, and let sit for 2 minutes. If you are using alternative tortellini noodles, adjust cook time accordingly.

After your two minutes is up. Open lid and stir.

Next, throw in your Kielbasa. (Literally throw it in. Stand at least 3 feet away and toss each piece in like Lebron James)

Once you’ve put your Kielbasa in, re-cover with the lid and let sit for another 2 minutes.

Afterwards, put in your spinach and parmesan cheese and stir well. Then, add another dash of parmesan on top because why not?

And WA LA. Dinner is served. You are now a chef. You are welcome.

Enjoy!

 

October thrifting finds!

I did a poll on my insta story earlier (christinaclaire.c , shameless promo!) to channel what the people wanted to see more of and thrifting won the competition! (I’ll do a Trader Joe’s faves later this week for all of you who voted otherwise, don’t worry 😉 )

My love of thrifting started in high school. My best friend of 10 years, Alexia, and I would live for the days we could make it to the Kissimmee Goodwill and thrift our lil hearts out. Thrifting takes some creativity and a lot of patience. I’m not a fashionista by any means, thrifting is just something I like to do for fun. If you guys like this style blog and want to see more things like this, give it a like, comment, or slide through my DM’s! I’m totally down to do more of this.

Oversize Flannel – $2.50 [Didn’t purchase. I have several flannels and this one just wasn’t PERFECT. #1 cozy thrifting tip is going to the men’s section]

Vintage USA Tee – $1 [Also didn’t purchase because the sleeves were a little too big but I kinda regret it now lol 😦 ]

Men’s Mickey Mouse muscle-ish tee, new with tags – $3. [Didn’t buy]

 

Vintage Levi Cropped Long Sleeve – $1.50 [I bought this because Levi and Olive Green!!]

Rust Orange Gap Turtle Neck – $2.50 [Didn’t buy. Rust is one of my fave colors but unfortunately this top was a really awkward length on me. Hence the selfie.]

 

Olive Green Oversized Turtle Neck Sweater – $2.50 [Didn’t buy. A little too oversized for me.]

 

Black Striped Jumpsuit from Target, new with tags – $7 [Didn’t buy. The button that closes the neckline was missing. I guess I could have easily sown it together but let’s be honest… I’d never get around to that.]

 

Black Plaid Dress from Target, new with tags – $7. [Also didn’t buy. Didn’t find it that flattering on my figure but could have been really cute with a belt!!]

 

Black Dress with Buttons from Target, new with tags – $7 [Bought it! Thinking it will look really cute this fall with some booties and a sweater or s/t!]

 

Black High-Waisted Cropped Jeans from Target, new with tags – $8 [Would have honestly bought these but they were a size too big and baggy in the crotch area 😦 ]

 

White Button-Down Skirt from Target, new with tags $6 [Bought! A little big but I think it will shrink in the wash and dryer! Not really a “fall” look but I can make it a fall look…]

 

White Denim Jacket from Target, new with tags – I think $7. [Didn’t buy. Idk why I didn’t buy it??? Maybe I’ll go back and get it… IDK!]

 

Black Tie Crop Top – $2 [Didn’t buy. My body aint tight enough for this but it’s CUTE!]

 

Mint Blue Lucky Brand Tank – $1.50 [Bought cause YOLO]

6 Self Care Tips for World Mental Health Day

A few months ago I was given devastating news. Someone I knew and looked up to, a father, a follower of Jesus, and an advocate for mental health, had taken his life due to his ongoing battle with depression.

This tragedy reminded me that, 1) Mental health needs to be taken just as seriously as physical health, 2) Mental health is an ongoing battle, and 3) You can love Jesus with all your heart and still be mentally ill.

That being said, my mental health tips won’t be enough. Seek professional help. I talk to Jesus everyday but I take my medications and seek counseling when I’m supposed to.

1.  Exercise. I have to force myself to do it 75% of the time but I never regret it when I’m done. As someone who is constantly recovering from my past with an ED, I find that I feel my worst mentally when I’ve been inactive for longer periods of time and eat more than any human really should. Exercise doesn’t have to be super intense and for the purpose of weight-loss. Sometimes, exercise is just taking a walk, going to a yoga class, or making your muscles cry at BodyPump! Whatever you do, make sure it’s something that makes you feel good when you’re done. 🙂
2. Lighten your load and give yourself a routine. In college I worked full-time, went to school full-time, and had full-time friends. It took me some time to figure out how to balance everything out, but by my junior and senior year I was really good at saying “no.” No to plans, no to my coworkers and employers, and no to taking on more than I could handle. I gave my job strict hours of the days and times I could and could not work. I made sure I had off the times I wanted to go to church services, knew I would have more homework, and wanted to be with my friends. Even now that my load has lightened, I still like having a set routine. Examples: Mondays I go to a coffee shop before tutoring, Tuesdays I go to Yoga with my cousin, every morning I drink my french vanilla coffee and have my onion bagel at home except for on Sundays because I stop at Starbucks, etc. This is partially due to my Type A personality, but it’s also due to the fact that when your brain is already telling you everything is “too much”, having a routine feels like a little less stress.
3. Get outside. Studies have shown that getting outside can decrease stress in the body and help improve mental health! So get on out there folks! Whether it’s to hike, read a book in your hammock, or enjoy your morning cup of coffee, fresh air is a game-changer.
4. Have some alone time. If you’re already struggling with isolating yourself, maybe this one isn’t for you. Getting alone time was something I had to actively try to do when I was in college. I struggle with a little something called, FOMO, fear of missing out. You may struggle with this too and it makes saying “no” to plans with your friends super hard because you don’t want to feel like your missing out! Chances are though, you won’t be missing out on something you can never do again. Especially if it’s just another night at Sky Bar. Wait what? …. Anyways! Go to a coffee shop, go on a nature trail, start a new series on Netflix, cook something new, or sing as loud as you can in your car. Just do you honey boo boo.
5. Organize your life. Sometimes when I start feeling like my life is chaos, it’s because everything around me has quite frankly turned into chaos. Do your laundry, clean your car, reorganize your desk space, throw out the 10 empty cans of La Croix on your bed side table. It’s hard to feel at peace when everything around you is showing otherwise.
6. Talk to God. He knows your whole story and He still loves you.

 

This blog was written in honor of World Mental Health Day. I hope you found my self-care tips either relatable or helpful. If you have some tips of your own I’d love to hear them!

 

What to do in Oregon… Portland and beyond.

Hi friends! Two years ago I spent the summer living in the beautiful city that is Portland, Oregon doing a missional internship with QuadW. The internship itself was an experience I’ll never forget, but doing it in Oregon made it even that much better. I did SO much while I was there and I realized today that I’d be a cruel and evil FOOL to not share all my knowledge. So, that being said, here are 12 things you need to do when in Portland (and surrounding areas).

1. Get some donuts

If you know anything about me or care about my existence AT ALL, you know I am a donut enthusiast. There is nothing I love better than a delicious donut. If you go to Portland and don’t eat donuts you are committing a DEADLY SIN. My recommendations? The original Voodoo Donuts, Blue Star, and a donut food truck.

 

2. Hike your booty off

It’s no surprise that the Pacific Northwest is known for its hikes. I did a hike every week while in Portland! Here are some of my faves

Multnomah Falls – a classic Portland landmark

Salmon River

Columbia River Gorge / Cascade Locks

Hood River / Mitchell Point Overlook

Ape Caves of Mount St. Helens – the most memorable and adventurous hike I’ve ever done.

3. Drink Stumptown Coffee

Sadly, I wasn’t a coffee enthusiast yet at this point in my life. However, I did get me some Stumptown Coffee, a Pacific Northwest fave.

 

4. Go to Mount Hood/Timberline Lodge

You can probably imagine this Southerners complete and utter surprise when we drove up to the Mountains for the Day in June and they were COVERED in snow. No warning (hence the capri leggings), just complete awe. Real tears were shed, folks. This was a memorable a spiritual moment for me.

 

 

 

5. Eat.

If there’s one thing I know how to do it’s eat. Here’s my fave places in and around Portland! (Picture creds to me but mostly to my dear friend Alex Bryan who is way better at taking food pics than me!)

Cubo – Hawthorne District, Portland

This place gave me a little taste of home and made me extremely happy.

Burgerville – a Pacific Northwest fast food chain

 

Brix Tavern – Downtown Portland

An affordable and yummy brunch spot!

The Local Cow – Gresham, OR

Best burgers in my favorite little town.

All the Food Trucks

Don’t matter which one, just try ’em all. Portland is notorious for its food trucks.

 

6. Use Public Transportation

Tbh, I hate public transportation. That being said, Portland and surrounding areas had the easiest to navigate bus/transit system I’ve experienced. Plus, everything is better when you have 9 other friends with you at all times.

 

7. Get lots and lots of ice cream

Whether it’s Tillamook from the cartons or Salt and Straw. Ice cream is a MUST.

 

 

8. Pick wildflowers and berries.

I so dearly miss walking home from the bus with all my pals, eating berries, and picking wildflowers and sticking them in my hair.

9. Explore Cannon Beach

Make sure you visit this iconic beach and explore the sweet town after.

10. Visit the Grotto

I didn’t know how much I would really like this Catholic outdoor shrine, but I loved it. The gardens, the spirituality, the labyrinth. Everything.

11. Dye your hair a crazy color, just cuz

Keep Portland weird

 

12. Be extra kind to my friends who live outside

Portland has a large homeless population that I spent some good quality time with while I was there and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Make sure to be extra kind to them, they live lives worth knowing about.